Clash of the 2 Tonnes, week 2……..

A full week of dieting has now passed, and what a long week it has been, for me anyway 😦 I’m rubbish at this diet thing and knew it would be debatable whether I’d manage to lose any weight at all! I have had days where I have been very good (well, good for me! ) but days where I have been unable to resist the urge for something yummy, crisps, leftover Christmas chocolates or a glass of wine with my lamb roast on Sunday for example. I have been walking most days though and hoola hooping in front of the TV, my boys have been barred from entering the living room whilst I’m in there ‘doing my thing’ as rather than offer encouragement, they would prefer to stand and laugh at my hip wiggling…! I’m not that good at it either so I do have to clear the area so I don’t send things flying! Before stepping on the scales last night I submerged myself in the bath and shaved within an inch of my life, not that I’m a wookie or anything but I knew I’d need all the help I could get this week…! and the result is I lost a pound, yep, that’s it, one solitary pound, slightly disheartening. Note to self – must try harder!

Sally has embraced the diet thing wholeheartedly and has been very good – cow! Eating more sensible foods and limiting her portion sizes. She’s not weighing herself though so It’s difficult to see how much weight she has lost, if any (of course she has, I’m just jealous 🙂 ) she says her tummy appears to have shrunk, she has a novel way of monitoring this, in a similar way to how a child will ask you to check their height against a wall, Sally checks her tummy width…. although she doesn’t mark the wall because that would be mad, right Sally….nutter!  the clothes are starting to feel less tight, though she’s not attempted ‘the’ jeans, I think it would be a tad optimistic to think they’d fit yet….! She has her favourite pair of trousers to get into for a do at the end of the month which currently fit snugly, by her own admission though she has the same trousers in her ‘fat’ wardrobe so could just stuff her face for the next 3 weeks instead, yeah, do that Sal…I’m such a cow 🙂

Sally has also incorporated lunges into her walking routine, which by her own admission looks pretty stupid, although she is having to re-think it going uphill is virtually impossible without falling backwards, surprisingly, no-one now wants to go out walking with her unless it’s under cover of darkness….! even the dog hides when she gets out the lead 🙂 on the plus side she will soon be cracking nuts with her thighs….Last night’s brisk walk in the woods had her stopped by the local police, no doubt thinking she was fleeing the scene of a crime…!

Wayne, poor Wayne on his gruel diet…..had a few hairy moments this week, couldn’t do a number two for 6 days, bless him!…..His body must have gone into shock! dropping to 500 calories a day (a man should be consuming around 2000-2500 a day) must fool the body into thinking it’s being starved, therefore feeling the need to desperately try and hold onto everything, good or bad! relief eventually came in the form of Senokot, Movicol, basically any laxative he could get his hands on, preemptive calls had been made to DynaRod, just in case…..!! paid off though, he lost a staggering 13 pounds in his first week, the weight of 2 small new-born babies! You can imagine how I felt hearing that, knowing I’d only managed one pound – fail! His reward is that he has now dropped down from 4 Lighter Life meal sachets to 3 a day with the 4th sachet being replaced with a cereal bar, woo hoo! – almost proper food…!  On the face of it though, these sachets sound yummy – chilli con carne, Shepherds Pie, chicken & mushroom soup, chicken casserole but don’t be fooled, anything that you add water too and shake in a cup ain’t gonna taste great and believe me it looks even worse! (Wayne’s words “cross between a pavement pizza and something you’d leave behind after a dodgy curry” – we get the picture!) on a positive note, he is getting used to the daily porridge, which looks exactly like lumpy wall paper paste *shudder* I’m pleased to add that his girlfriend has been very supportive and has bought industrial strength mouthwash and extra toothpaste for the anticipated Bear Breathe, which I am relieved to announce hasn’t yet kicked in, the office is still haliotosis free……

Our Accounts Manager Dee is also on the #TeamACCLdiet, I didn’t include her last week, partly because she has been on a diet since October last year and partly because she has already lost a stone and is motivated AND is looking good….yet another person to hi-light my failings…..! Dee’s approach is to be very good through the working week but allows herself treats at the weekend 🙂 my kindred spirit! doing this she loses on average between 1 – 2 pounds each week – top bird! Home life for Dee is very busy, she moved out into the country last year and is living the Good Life, Barbara has nothing on our Dee…although she has no goats – yet! she does, however look rather good in dungarees! She has husband Graham and 2 adult children living at home, a cat and 2 dogs, so always on the go…. this week she has managed to lose 2 pound, yes, twice as much as me…! She has another half stone to lose but is focussed, I have to up my game or I’m going to be left behind, the last fattie standing…….!


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